The world of marketing and consumerism and why people buy what they buy is a mystery to this simpleton. I understand people want to look cool and feel good about themselves, and marketing exists in part to make those two things happen. I also understand we rely on fancy, flashy corporations to prescribe and sell “cool” because it’s easier than thinking for ourselves. But what I don’t understand the reason Converse spent an assload of money to film "Heavy Metal Holiday" wherein a black metal dude gallivants through Europe in order to promote their sneakers. It’s like those stupid Calvin Klein Eternity commercials, except there’s no half-naked chick whispering in a sexy voice. Can someone explain this shit to me? (A link to the mini-movie is after the jump.) You can be damn sure Converse spent good money on Heavy Metal Holiday, traveling to London and Venice, renting that fancy hotel room with the giant chandelier, and paying for food and stuff. But why? Yeah, it’s amusing to watch this doofus struggle with an olive green umbrella in the wind. It’s even more amusing to watch him run after a little doggie. Dude runs like he’s got hot coals perilously close to his beanbag. Br00tal. But couldn’t they have filmed that shit in Baltimore or Cleveland? Is this supposed to be artsy? Or, worse, is it supposed to be funny? (Incidentally, Converse has a whole series of these stupid movies, and half the time the stupid movies don't even load properly on my computer, making me question their existence even further.) I don’t get it. The whole thing sucks.